i've got a brand new pair of rollerskates

18 queued posts and several photo collages and I've deleted them all to bring you THIS BREAKING NEWS:

My friend Kristen and I decided that we wanted to try roller derby some time ago. Like, um, maybe a couple years ago? But like all Big Dreams (er, drunken conversations), we never did anything about it.

Ahem.

Until now.

We decided to at least SEE if we even COULD skate. When is the last time you've been on roller skates? 12? 13? We headed to the rink tonight for "cheap-skate" night (hahahahaha). (Additionally, check out the local skate rink website to make your EYES BLEED.) Before we could even step foot (skate?! ha.) on the rink (is it called a rink? circle? parquet flooring?) some small tall punk child (skating backwards and superfast ON THE SIDELINES collided into me and we crashed and both fell and he stomped on my bare foot with his ENORMOUS 13 year old boy feet/skates.) I'm not going to lie; it hurt. And I thought that my skating adventure might be over before it even started. SAD FACE. I would never get to live out my dream of earning a name like Tyra Spanks and/or Honey Bee-yotch. Thankfully, Kristen is a nurse so she inspected my foot and deemed it suitable for skating (read: not broken).

So we skated.

And, um, well, we need practice.

And lots of it.

And, um, I think I'm going to be REAL SORE TOMORROW.

In so many places.

Immediately after taking my skates off (relieving pressure), my foot started throbbing so I hobbled home to ice it up and take the edge off with some beer and think about my derby name.

After consulting some friends (erm, read: Twiiter)... the NOMINEES ARE:

a. Killer Kat-a-Pillar

b. The Kat-astrophe. sorta like The Situation, but more awesome. (Thank you Ryan!)
c. kat von devious. (Thank you Melissa!)
d. um, your idea in the comment section?

What about YOU? What's your derby name?