the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad trip

So, it's Easter, right? Right. Easter makes you think family, right? Right. So, though Karl and I have a trip planned to St. Louis in May, we thought we might go and see my family. My sister was flying in from Milwaukee. My mom hosts Easter lunch at her house and I thought we might be able to help. My grandma fell last week and broke her wrist (and, after having a bunch of tests, a benign tumor was discovered in her brain that was causing her frequent dizziness so there's that. Treatment to be determined.)

So, a lot going on.

Additionally, Nate was sick last week and missed two days of school (strep throat yo!). By Friday, Karl and I were pretty exhausted and on the fence about actually getting in the car. But the bags were packed (well, things were thrown in a pile next to and one top of the suitcase waiting to be shoved in) and the dogs were kenneled and we had been promising Nate we were going to Grandma and Grandpa's house, so we decided to give it a go. Karl got off work late (of course) and we hit the road, nasty fast food in hand.

Here is some of what happened:

1. My sister's Friday afternoon flight gets cancelled b/c of mechanical difficulties and rescheduled for Saturday morning. A tornado hits the St. Louis airport, blowing out windows and roofs and the airport closes (!!) for the weekend, canceling her flight and many, many others.

2. Nate is so excited to be on a road trip he can't stop screaming TURKEY PIRATE! and causing general mayhem in the backseat. He's been singing a song about scurvy pirates lately and I must share it with you soon.

3. Somewhere around New Madrid, MO (what? you don't know where that is?! Me neither!), we had to stop to pee. (Pregnant lady + recently-potty trained toddler = lots of pee stops!) WE GOT PULLED OVER!! If you've even driven in a car with Karl, you know he is quite possibly the world's safest driver. For real. I don't even know that he's ever gotten a ticket. Def not since I've known him. Apparently off this particular exit there was a stop sign we missed (aren't there generally yield signs off exit ramps?). We apologized and the cop was pretty nice about it and complimented us for having our child in a car seat. Um... yes, is that a problem in small town MO? Perhaps.

3. We stopped at another bathroom (mere miles down the highway! ha!) and attempted to wait out a band of the storm. It was intense. But possibly MORE intense was the chick in the gas station bathroom who walked out, tripped over a Wet Floor sign, screamed "FUCK YOU SIGN!" (literally, just like that!) and KICKED it across the room. No one picked it up. Little shocking, little hilarious, little sad - I don't think her mama would have been proud to see her do that.

4. We hit an armadillo. There were a SERIOUS amount of frogs on the road after the storm and we had been joking about the world's end and plauges and BAM! ARMADILLO. Karl SAYS we just grazed him and that his shell is hard, but, um we were going 70.

5. We stopped several more weather-related times and didn't get to my parents house until around 2 a.m. Most of you that know me know that I don't like driving. Nighttime and storms? Cause for panic attacks. We were pretty exhausted walking through the door.

I know it all sounds ridiculous but it is what it is. We MAYBE should have thrown in the towel on Friday afternoon and MAYBE just stayed home. But we didn't. So now we are thankful that we are here safe and, though my sister won't be able to join us, we're glad she is at her home safe and sound. And, despite a massive amount of damage to the St. Louis metro area, not a single person was seriously injured or killed in the storms.