i'm back to drinking and driving
So, I have YET ANOTHER confession to make: so much of my second baby worries revolve around my first baby.
I honestly feel like (at this point) I'm MORE worried about Nate's adjustment to the new baby than I am about, oh you know, my own or, Karl's or, let's say, THE NEW BABY (who will only be coming from a 98.6 degree deliciously dark, warm CAVE of COMFORT out into the bright, scary world).
One of my bigger concerns about birthing at home has been what to do with Nate while I'm in labor (particularly if the baby comes in the middle of the night). For the actual birth of Newbaby, many have offered to come get him and neither Karl nor myself want Nate to stick around - not because we think it will traumatize him or that he won't understand what is happening but because both of us want to be able to fully concentrate on the situation at hand. Plus I didn't want ANYTHING touching me last time so I can't imagine if Nate wanted me to hold him or distracted me in any way. Mama needs to FOCUS. Basically, I want him to magically disappear when I start laboring because I also don't want anyone else coming into the house to distract me while he leaves. (We're thinking just open the door at 2 a.m. and let him hang out on the front lawn until his ride gets there? No?) I'm sure I'm over thinking it but I feel like it is an important detail in the whole bubble-up plan. (Maybe I will laugh at it later but I'm sort of adamant about intentionally shutting everyone out for awhile!)
I'm sure it's mostly because I know how Nate acts and reacts and thinks and feels and eats and sleeps (and a host of other mundane details like which sippy cup he prefers and how to properly fulfill his ridiculous requests for JUST RIGHT waffle cuts to syrup ratios) (I know. I even rolled my own eyes.). We spend a lot of time talking about the baby and what he's going to help teach the baby (top answer: RUN. Of course. Something I want him to get started on as soon as possible). We've even picked up some hilarious literature:
But I'm pretty sure nothing is going to really prepare him (or any of us) for the shift until it happens. So, in the meantime, we are just enjoying the time we have left as a family of three (and the damn, currently shedding dogs!) and trying to remember all the wonderfully quirky and odd things about age 3. (Have I mention I freaking love age 3?! Cause I really, really do.)
Three means business. This kid wants to choose his clothes and put them on. He wants to walk beside the cart and/or a stroller (because GOD FORBID he enjoy being pushed around - I so wish he could push me... at least for the next few weeks!) He wants to do a lot of things himself, which, really is both adorable and amazing. And, only a little annoying when you're in even the slightest hurry.) The only thing he hates doing alone? SLEEPING. (Yea. I know. Newbaby will be up a lot. I'm a little panicked about it too.)
A few weeks ago, he requested Light Up Sketchers - specifically the brand Sketchers. Of the light up variety. We have no idea where he got either the brand or the request for light ups? (school?). Either way, they do exist! Since he's a little strange about clothing and footwear, I decided to indulge his request. We hit up Kohl's (Have I mentioned they have quite a bit of boys play clothing on the cheap at Kohl's - particularly of the plaid and khaki shorts variety; I think I've mentioned I'm anti-jean and cargo shorts for boys young and old!). We purchased the Light Up Sketchers and, for several days, he was OBSESSED with telling anyone and everyone who would listen about them.
He is also obsessed with country music. I KNOW. It's awful. For a while we listed to this CD he got from school (think Jesus, 'This Little Light of Mine' music), which was fine (though made me a little twitchy after the 3,000 time of I'M GONNA LET IT SHINE.). Until he heard a particular country song that he now requests basically every time we are in the car. He calls it "The Bottle Song" and the first line is "I'm back on the bottle..." which is about alcoholism and surely appropriate for a 3 year old. Here is a link. I PROMISE you only need to listen to the first 10 seconds. And you might hate me for even that!
Usually, after it's over, he asks me "You don't like that song, Mommy?" and I have to say I don't. Judge me as you will but there are no curse words and, really, other than the bleeding ears, I'm okay with it. Eh. It will phase out.
What else do you want to know? He starts school next week and goes to his new classroom - he and I are both beyond excited! He wants to be reunited with his friends and I look forward to taking some time to myself before the baby comes!
What else do you want to know?
I honestly feel like (at this point) I'm MORE worried about Nate's adjustment to the new baby than I am about, oh you know, my own or, Karl's or, let's say, THE NEW BABY (who will only be coming from a 98.6 degree deliciously dark, warm CAVE of COMFORT out into the bright, scary world).
One of my bigger concerns about birthing at home has been what to do with Nate while I'm in labor (particularly if the baby comes in the middle of the night). For the actual birth of Newbaby, many have offered to come get him and neither Karl nor myself want Nate to stick around - not because we think it will traumatize him or that he won't understand what is happening but because both of us want to be able to fully concentrate on the situation at hand. Plus I didn't want ANYTHING touching me last time so I can't imagine if Nate wanted me to hold him or distracted me in any way. Mama needs to FOCUS. Basically, I want him to magically disappear when I start laboring because I also don't want anyone else coming into the house to distract me while he leaves. (We're thinking just open the door at 2 a.m. and let him hang out on the front lawn until his ride gets there? No?) I'm sure I'm over thinking it but I feel like it is an important detail in the whole bubble-up plan. (Maybe I will laugh at it later but I'm sort of adamant about intentionally shutting everyone out for awhile!)
I'm sure it's mostly because I know how Nate acts and reacts and thinks and feels and eats and sleeps (and a host of other mundane details like which sippy cup he prefers and how to properly fulfill his ridiculous requests for JUST RIGHT waffle cuts to syrup ratios) (I know. I even rolled my own eyes.). We spend a lot of time talking about the baby and what he's going to help teach the baby (top answer: RUN. Of course. Something I want him to get started on as soon as possible). We've even picked up some hilarious literature:
But I'm pretty sure nothing is going to really prepare him (or any of us) for the shift until it happens. So, in the meantime, we are just enjoying the time we have left as a family of three (and the damn, currently shedding dogs!) and trying to remember all the wonderfully quirky and odd things about age 3. (Have I mention I freaking love age 3?! Cause I really, really do.)
Three means business. This kid wants to choose his clothes and put them on. He wants to walk beside the cart and/or a stroller (because GOD FORBID he enjoy being pushed around - I so wish he could push me... at least for the next few weeks!) He wants to do a lot of things himself, which, really is both adorable and amazing. And, only a little annoying when you're in even the slightest hurry.) The only thing he hates doing alone? SLEEPING. (Yea. I know. Newbaby will be up a lot. I'm a little panicked about it too.)
A few weeks ago, he requested Light Up Sketchers - specifically the brand Sketchers. Of the light up variety. We have no idea where he got either the brand or the request for light ups? (school?). Either way, they do exist! Since he's a little strange about clothing and footwear, I decided to indulge his request. We hit up Kohl's (Have I mentioned they have quite a bit of boys play clothing on the cheap at Kohl's - particularly of the plaid and khaki shorts variety; I think I've mentioned I'm anti-jean and cargo shorts for boys young and old!). We purchased the Light Up Sketchers and, for several days, he was OBSESSED with telling anyone and everyone who would listen about them.
He is also obsessed with country music. I KNOW. It's awful. For a while we listed to this CD he got from school (think Jesus, 'This Little Light of Mine' music), which was fine (though made me a little twitchy after the 3,000 time of I'M GONNA LET IT SHINE.). Until he heard a particular country song that he now requests basically every time we are in the car. He calls it "The Bottle Song" and the first line is "I'm back on the bottle..." which is about alcoholism and surely appropriate for a 3 year old. Here is a link. I PROMISE you only need to listen to the first 10 seconds. And you might hate me for even that!
Usually, after it's over, he asks me "You don't like that song, Mommy?" and I have to say I don't. Judge me as you will but there are no curse words and, really, other than the bleeding ears, I'm okay with it. Eh. It will phase out.
What else do you want to know? He starts school next week and goes to his new classroom - he and I are both beyond excited! He wants to be reunited with his friends and I look forward to taking some time to myself before the baby comes!
What else do you want to know?
6 comments:
If he asks... "the bottle" is filled with milk or juice. I wouldn't bring up the topic of hard liquor until 18. Ha!
About birthing at home (note: no personal experience but...), these posts are amazing! I tried to find stories where the first born is there to witness becoming a big brother/big sister.
Walker's home birth
Pepper's home birth
Ezra's home birth
GOOD LUCK! YOU GOT THIS!!! xo.
I was adamant that no one be in the room when I was in labor. I was all "this is a special moment" blah blah. Now? I wish people had been in there. Next time? Party in my room! Haha. I would feel the same as you though, if I were doing it at home. Mama doesn't need ANY distractions!! Lee and I are both anti-jean short and cargo shorts/pants for all ages. I bought some jeans shorts for C just to have in an emergency and I don't think they'll ever be worn.
I totally understand that your concerns at the moment are for Nate. After all, Newbaby is happy with clean diaper, a tight swaddle, a warm snuggle, and a boob. Life is so SIMPLE for him/her!
Nate, on the other hand, has NEEDS (real like the sleep or imagined like the syrup). Just keep telling yourself that even if Nate is a bit traumatized, you are giving him the greatest gift in the world: a sibling.
That's what I told myself. Nonetheless, Ella was traumatized when Kate was born. So feel free to disregard all of the above. :)
I was two and a half when my little sister was born. She was a home birth and it was a little traumatizing for everyone since she was born blue with her cord wrapped around her neck, but watching her come out of my mommy's bloody vagina is a picture that is seared into my memory and I can't get rid of it, no matter how hard I try. So I wholeheartedly support your idea of getting Nate away while you labor. ;-)
And dude, Nate is hysterical. He sounds like a handful, but SUCH FUN. Three year olds are a blast. They have such strong opinions about everything, and I love that. Hope Nater doesn't make you too loopy with his "Back to the Bottle" song. Hahaha!!! xoxo
you're such a good mama - no one's feelings, wants, or needs are left unattended on your watch. :) love you, friend! can't wait for newbaby to show his / her face!!! xo
I don't know you, but came across you blog purely by accident. Thought is interesting to get another parents perspective. It was an interesting read.
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